Saturday, August 6, 2011
Days like today it's hard not to be sick at myself. Days where you wake up and here the news that 31 military troops were lost in Afghanistan. Where the first thing you do is look up where to see if it's where your husband is. When you see the who, what, where, when, how and figure out odds our it's not MY troop that was killed in Afghanistan, relief. Then I'm thankful, and ill with myself all at the same time. Someone is living my worst nightmare and I'm sitting here thanking God it's not me. Everyday I look online and see the growing number of unnamed airman, soldiers, marines and navy waiting on family notification before just becoming another name on the huge list of people we have lost in this 10 year war. It makes me sad. Don't get me wrong I'm proud of everything we've accomplished, but the loss of so many is just sad. So tonight I'll once again be saying a prayer for all who've lost and praying that I never become one of them.
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Days like that day I go through something very similar...holding my breath and trying not to unacceptably ask you if you flat out whether or not you've heard from Matt - instead, waiting for a FB status from you on some shananagins one one the monkeys have gone through, a comment you made on somebody's post, anything...just to make sure Matt is ok for you and it's another 'typical' day. And I go through the same realization later that even though it's clear (THANK GOD) that Matt is ok, some one else's husband isn't. Just like you said - it's just sad.
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