So what's the first day like when your husband leaves? Hell, it's always hell. Not only are you depressed, but your parenting A game turns more in to a D+ game and that is probably being generous. Take right now for instance. I really should be helping Brynn with her homework, but instead I'm blogging. But after fighting with Bryson for over an hour with cursive, I need a break. Speaking of Bryson, he's had multiple meltdowns tonight. He's very emotional. Although the first one was partially my fault. Guess I didn't realize that telling him if he kept licking his lips he would look like a clown, would send him into hysterics.
Then again we are all on the verge of melt downs here today. Both boys were upset with me thanks to lack of video game time. Morgan thinks I'm insane, but screaming song lyrics at the top of your lungs is always therapeutic especially "I like big butts" and "Forget you." Reading this so far doesn't sound so terrible. Guess I should add that Matt's giant dog got sick in the house, and the sink is clogged with some mysterious substance. Oh and into that clogged sink, Morgan cleaned out her "just pulled out a tooth, bloody mess" so it looks absolutely disgusting.
Oh and I've also been plotting all day. Evil evil plotting, thinking mean things of what I will say and do if I run into the guy Matt replaced. The old Heather(think pre-kids) would have totally at the very least tee-peed his house and egged his car. Being a grown up sucks some times. I'm really trying to get past my anger though. Odds are Matt would have been going in June anyhow. So my tee-pee plotting has turned more into plotting ways to see Matt before he heads to Afghanistan. Looking for long weekends where the kids and I can attempt the round trip 26 hour drive.
Well I guess it's time to get back to my D+ parenting. We have homework to finish, and now it sounds like a fight to referee. To quote a favorite book of mine from my childhood, "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can." Lord please let the "I thought I coulds" come quickly this time around.
Monday, January 24, 2011
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BIG HUGS TO YOU AND THE KIDS! D+ parenting is still great parenting and the kids are just upset. If you need anything at all just let me know. You have a great internet support system and 5 kids and a husband you love you very much. "Just breathe."
ReplyDeleteI don't even know what to say or where to start. You amaze me. Even D+ would be way out of reach for me if I had to deal with what you are going through.
ReplyDeleteYou are more than entitled to evil thoughts, to plotting, to anger or resentment. Never feel bad about that.
Keep writing, it helps. And know that you are obviously an incredible mom - even on a D+ day.
care xo
"Forget You" always helps me, too. ;)
Care- I'd much prefer to sing the explicit version. Another reason being a grown up sucks sometimes. Can't very well have the kids walking around scream eff you.
ReplyDeleteCarrie- Thanks girl!